Heart Change: Intro of Our Story on Ethical Adoptions

Today is an important day in the lives of our two sons, Josiah and Gideon. As you read this, a private investigator is interviewing their biological fathers in Eastern Congo. We set up this investigation for several reasons- to hear their father’s hearts, to get details of the boys’ history, & to confirm that the boys are, indeed, true orphans. We feel it is critical (& our responsibility) to know that the best effort has been made to keep the boys in their own country & international adoption is the last hope for these boys (without them remaining in an orphanage until adulthood).

But this has not always been my approach to orphans and adoption. The story of our adoption of Solomon from Ethiopia almost two years ago might help explain this transformation…

When we met the 21 year old, she showed us where she found him. “It was early in the morning & I was on my way to a funeral. I heard crying & I found him here.” H confirmed the details in our paperwork & as she recounted the day she found Solomon she was able to give us extra insights that were not in our paperwork. It was a sweet, sobering day but we now had the truth confirmed & could rest assured that we had enough of his story to share with him someday.

It’s been almost 2 years since we brought Solomon home from Ethiopia. You can watch his story here. 

18 months ago when I tried to write Solomon’s story- what we knew of his life in Ethiopia prior to adoption through his Adoption story- I found myself grieving over the fact that his wasn’t a joyful story. I think most adoptive parents hope for the fairytale adoption. They rescue a child in need & in return are changed in positive & unimaginable ways. I’m now convinced there’s no such thing as a fairytale adoption…but the truth trumps any fairytale.

A year ago when I tried writing Solomon’s story I remember thinking, “I wish we had met his birth mom & that she had given us her blessing to take her son away. I wish she had expressed to us how much she loved her son but simply didn’t have the means to care for him. If all that were true then writing his story would be easy- he’d always know that his first mom loved him.” I hated the fact that one day we’d tell Solomon he was found abandoned.

This year as I try writing Solomon’s story I now think, “I’m so very grateful I didn’t have to look into the eyes of an impoverished mother who loved her child but was making the hardest decision of her life by handing him over to us. I don’t have to tell my son that I took him away from a mother who loved him.”

The truth is, I will never know if Solomon’s birthmother loved him well or not. I don’t know why she (or his father) relinquished him.

Why am I writing all of this & where am I going with this? With all my heart, I’ve come to believe the world doesn’t need more orphanages. We need more families! Ironically, if we try to solve the problem through adoption, we can make things worse. If we apply our energy and resources toward preventing children from becoming orphans and international adoption as a last resort, we might move in the right direction.  

More to Come…

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Stuck

Tonight we were shocked to have received this devastating announcement put out by the US State Department.

Basically, DRC has temporarily blocked adopted children from leaving their country. Please pray. 

Here's a recap of this part of the process...Once the US Embassy completes their investigation (the stage we're in) they issue visas for the children to enter the USA. In addition to the visa, DRC issues this exit letter allowing the children to leave their country. Most parents travel to DRC during this time & wait a couple weeks for the visa to be issued & then another week or so for this letter to be issued. As of now, no more letters are being issued until this specific case is cleared. Ugh!

We're hoping the US Embassy will still continue investigations (the stage we're at) while this pause is taking place. Pray for all the children "stuck."
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Riley's Visit with Boys Today

For those of you who don't know, Riley's back in Congo for a quick trip. Today he was with our boys at orphanage & tomorrow morning is his embassy appointment. I received an email from him this afternoon sharing about his time spent with the boys today:

"Just got back from the orphanage and thought I would send you a quick update.

J was really doing great. He gave me a little smile when we first saw each other and was really happy the whole time. He laughed a lot and wanted me to hold him constantly. We played ball and he was actually throwing it a little bit (mostly with his left hand!). I asked about his testicles and PL said the doctor was not that concerned. He claimed there was "water" in there and that it would go away on its own without medicine. I checked for myself and I would say his right testicle was about twice the size of his left. The mamas said that it was smaller than it had been and it was getting better. I noticed he was a little uncomfortable when I held him on my left hip, probably because it pushed on his right testicle. Other than that, he didn't ever seem affected by it. Lots of smiles and hugs... you would have loved it!

G was a little more apprehensive when I saw him. He was being changed when I came in and he cried when I held him. He wanted to go back to the mamas. After a while (and a lollypop) he warmed up to me and he was his normal self. The mamas said he had "malaria" and that he was on a prescription for it. I asked to see the prescription but they said PL had it (he didn't stay at the orphanage with us). They said he had had a fever and chest cough. He still seemed to have a little cough but no fever. That might explain why he was a little fussier than last time. He took a few steps for me while I was there and the mamas said he started walking a couple of weeks ago. He can put 3-4 together at one time now. I also got him to say "ball" while I was there. The mamas said he doesn't really talk but I heard him gibber a little. J says "mama" and a "mai" (water). Probably a few other words too but I couldn't understand.

The boys both love playing ball and I actually got them to play with each other a little. J really likes to throw and he tries to catch like a big boy. G is happy to just hand the ball back and forth. I got a little video of it, but it doesn't do it justice.

I have all of the documents I need from PL and I don't foresee any problems. Hopefully everything goes smoothly tomorrow."

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On His Way

 Via confirmation this morning, Riley will be flying back to Kinshasa in a couple of days for an appointment net week with the US Embassy. He will spend a day travelling, a day with our boys in the orphanage, a morning appointment at the embassy & then flying back that night, home the following day. Phew!

Gideon meeting the family

This appointment is two-fold: (1) We apply (on behalf of our sons) to request their Visas to travel to the US & (2) We provide the English & French translations for ALL the Congolese documents that show Josiah & Gideon to be our children (adoption decrees, consent forms, birth certificates, death certificates of mothers, etc- 2 binders full of meticulous paperwork that Riley has put together!) While we could forgo this appointment & apply in the US, that process is longer & we feel an urgency to get this portion completed immediately so investigations aren’t delayed. Continuing, the US Embassy will review our binders & begin their investigations- interview birth fathers, confirm legitimacy, etc (remember, the birth fathers are on the other side of the country possibly in a war-zone so this is not a simple task). When the US Embassy is satisfied that J & G are our children legitimately they’ll issue the visas. At that time Riley & I (or just Riley) will return to DRC & wait up to 3 weeks for all to process & then bring the boys home!

Congo River

Please pray for Riley’s safety, the health of the boys, & the efficiency of this process. Feels good to be moving forward…

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Solar Panel Team Effort

 

The reason we went to DRC 2 weeks ago was to install solar panels. That was possible because a group of people came together & made it happen...

Engineers Jess & Chris

Remember 6 months ago in September when we launched our 1st Heart for Congo fundraiser? With an expectation of raising $5,000 to install a solar panel in the orphanage we held the Congo Carnival. We came away with $12,000! That money was enough for solar panels plus launching us well into our 2^nd goal of feeding an entire orphanage for a year. And, this was just the beginning.

Diligent Jess at the box & brave Stori 

Jumping a head to now, it was an honor to be a part of the team getting to install those solar panels in DRC. Meet the team- 2 engineers from Portland- Chris & Jessica- volunteered to do the installation. They did the prep, ordering, drafting, & teaching the rest of us what to do. Along with engineers Chris & Jessica, there was Ryan (an adoptive Father of 2 Congolese children), Stori (an adoptive mother of 2 Congolese children), Jim (Deacon of a church in Portland who’s building & starting up a school in a rural community outside Kinshasa,  Ms. Jacky- originally from DRC, now living in the US- translator & woman extraordinaire, & Jilma & Nathan- founders of Our Family in Africa & the vision & drive behind making a difference.

Getting ready to lift panel onto roof

3 entire days were spent installing 3 solar panels in 2 locations- 1 at an orphanage & 2 at a future school for village school.   The solar panels will charge cell phones, a fridge, & provide roughly 5 hours of light every night in a place where flashlights, the sun & the moon were the only sources of light. Check out the awe-inspiring pictures! 

Stealing the words in an email from one of the engineers, Chris… 

“I wanted to take a moment and give credit to where it is due. As you all know, it took a significant amount of work and a combination of all of your skill sets to make these projects happen. Each person accomplished so much in a short period of time. There is no task in these installs considered glamorous. It was so easy working with everyone since we all had the unified objective of doing our best for those kids. You should each be very proud of your contribution..."

Deacon Jim (blue) & Ry (on roo

Chris on the blazing hot tin roof at 3pm

And my personal message to 

Heart for Congo:

Your perseverance inspires me daily. Thank you for going along with my crazy ideas & for sending words of encouragement my way. So many of you ask me, "What's the next project Michelle? Sign me up to help...I want to help..." Thank you for each of your individual contributions- giving, hugging, writing, selling, sewing, motivating, baking, cheering, talking, painting, pottery-making, laughing, etc. I love each of you & your heart for Congo.

Installed by sunset

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DRC Adoption Update/Process

Gideon (L) & Josiah (R)

 We had a fantastic week in DRC & many more blog posts will be following.  Until then, here is a summary of what we know, where we are in the process of adopting the boys, & what we THINK will happen next.

Adoption in Congo, like most foreign adoptions, can really be broken into three sequential parts: 1) US immigration checks on the parents via a homestudy and background checks, 2) Congolese courts assigning custody of the children to parents via adoption decrees, and 3) the US embassy in Congo granting a visa to the boys that will allow them to enter the United States. 3 days ago (finally!) we received our adoption decrees from the Congolese courts. Although we are still working on getting a few parts of those decrees in hand, we know that we have been named the parents of Josiah and Gideon!

You might think that would be the hard part, but the biggest hurdle in this entire process will be obtaining their visas from the US embassy. Once we have the complete decrees and other supporting documents like their birth certificates, mother's death certificates, etc... either Riley or I will be flying to Kinshasa, the capital, to submit the visa applications. We are praying that we will make that trip in the next 4 weeks. Upon receipt of our application, the consular's office in the embassy will launch an investigation to validate the authenticity of our claim to the boys. Primarily, they want to interview the birth fathers to ensure they willingly gave their sons up for adoption and that they were not coerced or deceived into doing so. This is problematic because the fathers live about 1,000 miles from the embassy and have no means to come to Kinshasa for an interview. We were told that the embassy MAY be sending one of their interviewing personnel to Bukavu, near where the fathers were last known to live, some time in May or June. If we can get the fathers to them, they MIGHT interview them out there and be able to wrap up the investigation. To make this happen, we are considering hiring a man that worked in that area, to find the fathers and arrange for them to link up with the embassy rep in Bukavu. 

If all of the above happens as planned, the interview could be complete by May/June and the investigation wrapped up sometime this summer. Once the embassy is satisfied with our case, they will contact us for a visa appointment in Kinshasa. Either Riley or I (likely not both) will then fly out for the visa meeting. From that meeting, it should take about 3-5 days for them to issue the visas for our boys. Visas in hand, we will then turn to the Congolese Department of Immigration and request a letter of release for the boys. We need these letters for the boys to make it through the airport customs check in Kinshasa. The letters can take from 7-20 days to secure. We will likely stay in the country waiting for those letters. Once we have our visas AND the letters of release, we will be free to bring the boys home. Since we have already met them, they will come home on an IR3 visa which means they will be US citizens as soon as we touch down in NYC. That, my friends, will be a wonderful day!

From our perspective, we see a few critical pieces that should be the focus of your prayers. 

1. We need the remained documents as quickly as possible so that I can get the visa application to Kinshasa PRIOR to their trip to Bukavu. 
2. We need to find those fathers AND they need link up with the embassy interviewers in May/June. If we miss this shot, it could be several months before we can arrange an interview.
3. We need that interview to go properly so that the embassy does not doubt the intentions of the fathers

afternoon/evening meal of water & rice & beans

And finally, I hope having these pictures helps you think of and pray for the boys and the children they live with in the orphanage. They are loved by the orphanage Mommas, but there are 20 children and two workers. Nutritious food is lacking and they get very little emotional stimulation. We know God is gracious and loves those boys, but we also feel a burden to get them out of there as quickly as possible. 

Sorry this update took so long but I hope it helps clarify things.

p.s. We do not have birth certificates but the court documents indicate that Josiah was born in October 2010 (date UNK) and Gideon on 10 Sept 2011. That makes Josiah a couple months younger than we thought and Gideon a couple months older. Once they are home, we will have four boys born within 13 months of each other. Should be fun!

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