Let Me Be With You

Josiah & Riley

Today was one of those mornings where everything felt meaningless. I was in the middle of single-leg squats in my basement & I broke down thinking, “What is the point of working out so hard when the results don’t last? I’ll be working just as hard tomorrow, and the next day, & the next!” Then the meaningless spread to my other daily tasks- “Why do we make our beds day after day? Why do I ask the boys to pick up their cars when the mess will be replaced by something else within the minute? Will I be doing laundry forever? Why am I always in the kitchen when these people devour my hard work within minutes!” I was making myself crazy. Resentment began to well up inside of me. I began to cry.

Clearly, I was missing the point. As I was staring out my tiny rectangular window with a bar on my back, a cool Spring breeze flowed into the room & the Lord whispered the word “RELATIONSHIPS” to me.

I started to ask myself those same questions in a different context: What if I was working out so hard alongside others, encouraging them & building them up. Then, would my physical work feel so pointless? No- relationships would bring meaning to it.  And, what about making our beds? Is it just a task or is there meaning behind it? My conclusion: I’m setting an example to my children in discipline. Hebrews 12:11 says, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”  Same concept with picking up cars, chalk, putting covers back on markers, etc.  And is there meaning to the laundry & cooking? Matthew 6:25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”  Food & clothing are provisions that should not stress me. I need to be thankful I am taken care of in these two areas. I need to be grateful I have abundant food & enough clothing that laundry is annoying. Period.

My pity party conclusion? Life’s not meant to do alone. We were created for relationships- with God & with mankind. Christ would retreat to secluded places to pray to his Father & other times he put himself out there to make himself available to humanity. I needed this reminder today.

Michelle & Dugheesha

And when I think about what brings me the greatest joy & what longings & deepest heartaches? All answers are relationships. I want my broken relationships to be reconciled. I want my sons home because I long to be in relationship with them. I want the highs, lows, laughter, tears, all those beautiful emotions that make us who we are! I want my sons home. How can I continue with such menial tasks when they’re not with me? I find meaning & invest in my present relationships!

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